Toni had a rough morning, and was quite worn out from the lengthy MRI at 7:30. Much of the fatigue had returned together with considerable pain. Yet as the morning wore on she did recover slightly. The great news from the MRI was simply that the spinal cord inflammations had decreased in size considerably since the last reading. That is fantastic! The good doctor came in and gave us the long-awaited news that she could go home, provided she continued with her treatments, rested well, and followed up on future tests. Much of this will be in Austin, but as mentioned some may be required at Southwestern in Dallas. We gathered up her things and headed out around 1:00.
Toni will tell you that pulling in the driveway never felt sweeter.
Anna was ecstatic to arrive home this afternoon and find her mom right where she needs her. To be fair, Toni was asleep at the time, so Anna gave her an uncharacteristically quiet kiss and joyfully headed out the door to ride her bike. Ah, sweet normalcy.
As I said, we have a lot of work yet to do in order to recover full strength and normal life. Yet are so thankful to have been delivered from what appeared to be a catastrophic, life-threatening illness at first glance and be on the road to health. I am thankful that tomorrow Anna won't cry at school because her mom is in the hospital. I am thankful that when we have coffee in the morning, it won't be accompanied by vital signs and IV tubes. I am thankful for excellent doctors, nurses, and technicians. I am thankful for friends who did valiant work to sustain us in this trial. I am thankful for our family who offered so much courage and love. I am thankful for friends not only here but in many places across the US and in other countries too who stopped and prayed for Toni. I am thankful for a Session and Deacons who have cared for us so well, and I am thankful for this congregation who have so faithfully given witness to the beauty of gracious and authentic community rooted in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
There are at least three key doctor visits next week, and I have to make sure Toni stays rested - no small task given her dedication to being the Proverbs 31 gal. I'll pour the tea if you drop by for a visit.
Rejoice always.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Toni Times 9-29-10
When Churchill reported to the House of Commons that the the Luftwaffe had been turned back from the skies over Britain and the Island nation was secure from an impending Nazi invasion, he noted in conclusion that this victory was "not the beginning of the end but it was the end of the beginning."
Those seems fitting words tonight for Toni. We have the first signs of a win.
Toni's sister Kim called this morning and said, "Better bring her shoes. She's ready to go home and cut the grass." I'd be happy to have her home and let the grass grow to unprecedented, neighbor annoying heights. And it was in exactly such high spirits that I found her this morning on arrival. Apparently about 11 pm last night the tide turned in her favor, and she began a dramatic recovery. She remained vibrant throughout the day, and on examination showed significant increases in strength and endurance. Her vitals were normal, and while continuing to feel the tingles and numbness in her arm and hand, she nevertheless found these to be at a tolerable level, rather than the electric shock type pain that had been pulsating through her relentlessly. She was mostly free from pain in her head as well, and for the first time in many weeks she was able to grasp things with her left hand, actually able to sense the texture of objects on her finger tips and control the movement of hand and fingers. Her fatigue had abated. Her blood pressure had returned to normal.
Frankly, I was amazed. Still am.
The docs came in and they were as delighted as I was stunned. They've ordered some more tests for tomorrow to make sure she's making proper progress (a further MRI among other things), and then plan to dismiss her to continue her recovery at home. Thanks be to God!
Is there more to come? Yes. We will visit with specialists at Southwestern in Dallas in the next couple of weeks to examine more closely the cluster of infections/disease that have so afflicted Toni. It turns out that she was hit not by one bolt but by three: Transverse Militus, Sjogrens, and Lupus, the final one producing the first, and hitting her central nervous system. All of this has to be handled with great care, but a good recovery is expected in time. She will continue to need a lot of rest and can't really get back to full normal daily life for awhile. I'll take partial daily life over unconsciousness any time.
More tomorrow, but as it stands, she will get to come home unless she suffers a set back tonight or tomorrow, or if the MRI unexpectedly showed an increase in the spinal inflammations. Of course I hope they show a decrease in size.
You have all been such wonderful prayer warriors with us and I am deeply grateful. Toni couldn't pray most of the time; mine felt like they reached the ceiling and bounced back. As Ken and Cathy Campbell reminded us today, 'That's when all of the prayers of the others were carrying you'. Yes indeed. Thank you dear friends, and don't stop. There's a long road yet ahead. This isn't the beginning of the end after all, but it is the end of the beginning. Those warrior words are fitting, for Toni remarked a few times that she felt she was in a terrible battle. This, the first full day of the beginning of her recovery, is the Feast of Michael and Gabriel, God's Mighty Angels (the day also known as Michaelmas). In Toni's battle they fought for her and I am grateful. I am grateful too for the angels around us who sent cards, texts, food, coffee, sat up nights and days, called with encouragement, mowed, and prayed relentlessly. I know who you are and hiding your wings will do you no good. Keep up the good work saints.
Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his Holy Name.
As a postscript, here's a old petition to Michael for his help against dark assaults:
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle, be our safeguard and protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
Those seems fitting words tonight for Toni. We have the first signs of a win.
Toni's sister Kim called this morning and said, "Better bring her shoes. She's ready to go home and cut the grass." I'd be happy to have her home and let the grass grow to unprecedented, neighbor annoying heights. And it was in exactly such high spirits that I found her this morning on arrival. Apparently about 11 pm last night the tide turned in her favor, and she began a dramatic recovery. She remained vibrant throughout the day, and on examination showed significant increases in strength and endurance. Her vitals were normal, and while continuing to feel the tingles and numbness in her arm and hand, she nevertheless found these to be at a tolerable level, rather than the electric shock type pain that had been pulsating through her relentlessly. She was mostly free from pain in her head as well, and for the first time in many weeks she was able to grasp things with her left hand, actually able to sense the texture of objects on her finger tips and control the movement of hand and fingers. Her fatigue had abated. Her blood pressure had returned to normal.
Frankly, I was amazed. Still am.
The docs came in and they were as delighted as I was stunned. They've ordered some more tests for tomorrow to make sure she's making proper progress (a further MRI among other things), and then plan to dismiss her to continue her recovery at home. Thanks be to God!
Is there more to come? Yes. We will visit with specialists at Southwestern in Dallas in the next couple of weeks to examine more closely the cluster of infections/disease that have so afflicted Toni. It turns out that she was hit not by one bolt but by three: Transverse Militus, Sjogrens, and Lupus, the final one producing the first, and hitting her central nervous system. All of this has to be handled with great care, but a good recovery is expected in time. She will continue to need a lot of rest and can't really get back to full normal daily life for awhile. I'll take partial daily life over unconsciousness any time.
More tomorrow, but as it stands, she will get to come home unless she suffers a set back tonight or tomorrow, or if the MRI unexpectedly showed an increase in the spinal inflammations. Of course I hope they show a decrease in size.
You have all been such wonderful prayer warriors with us and I am deeply grateful. Toni couldn't pray most of the time; mine felt like they reached the ceiling and bounced back. As Ken and Cathy Campbell reminded us today, 'That's when all of the prayers of the others were carrying you'. Yes indeed. Thank you dear friends, and don't stop. There's a long road yet ahead. This isn't the beginning of the end after all, but it is the end of the beginning. Those warrior words are fitting, for Toni remarked a few times that she felt she was in a terrible battle. This, the first full day of the beginning of her recovery, is the Feast of Michael and Gabriel, God's Mighty Angels (the day also known as Michaelmas). In Toni's battle they fought for her and I am grateful. I am grateful too for the angels around us who sent cards, texts, food, coffee, sat up nights and days, called with encouragement, mowed, and prayed relentlessly. I know who you are and hiding your wings will do you no good. Keep up the good work saints.
Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his Holy Name.
As a postscript, here's a old petition to Michael for his help against dark assaults:
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle, be our safeguard and protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Toni Times 9-28-10
Let me say right up front how encouraging your comments have been. I read them to Toni and these are a source of great comfort and courage to her - thank you so much!
A wee detail - one of the children's Sunday School classes sent hand drawn get well notes to Toni and we only just discovered these today; they were brilliant! My thanks to all the youngsters who penned and crayoned such delightful and colorful get well wishes.
Ok, on to the day. It was a very topsy turvy kind of affair.
First, Toni had a really bad night and thankfully her sister Kim was there to help. She had a vein collapse where the IV was inserted and this rather messed up the scheduled delivery of her meds, not to mention being really painful. A treatment started at 7 and meant to run 2 hours ended at 3 am.
This left her completely exhausted but of course she had to have a CT Scan today (with iodine), so no food or coffee (torture!) until afterward. The scan results simply confirmed the absence of any cancer in the rest of her body. Great news, and not surprising at this point.
She was however suffering considerable pain in her arm, lack of mobility in her hand, had difficulty walking, and could speak only with difficulty. She slept from 10 to 3, and then we went for a 'walk' to the 3rd floor courtyard and enjoyed the fresh air for awhile. She rested there too and I read to her the cards that arrived by mail yesterday.
Next comes the weird part: at first the docs decided to reverse course and NOT do a second round of the five day IV regimen of antibodies, and suggested she should go home as there really wasn't anything further they could do for her. Lets just say I was a little stunned and, OK, 'disquieted' and my 'countenance was changed'. After some further consideration of the fact that all of the symptoms from the chin up are NOT related to the spinal inflammations but to an as yet undiagnosed brain issue, this 'go home' strategy was thankfully put on hold. In fact, it looks like we MAY see her go to Southwestern in Dallas for more tests on that aspect of her afflictions. To that end, more tests will be conducted over the next two to three days (I hope no more spinal taps!), and she may go either as a transfer to Dallas or as an outpatient, having been discharged from Seton, perhaps on Monday. We shall see how it goes.
The spinal issues appear to be transverse mylitis, as mentioned previously. While this will leave some potentially painful residual effects, recurrence is rare, and Toni will recover to a certain degree over the next 3-4 months, as God wills. Basically, some people fully recover and some people partially recover, but typically where a person is at 3-4 months is usually where they stay. Yes, lets pray for the full recovery option. Toni is trusting God whatever the outcome and asking for him to be glorified in whatever occurs.
As for the brain issues, its possible that we may never know what has hit her; it is possible we may know and then discover no treatment is possible at this time. Nevertheless, we have to at least search to see if a cause and cure can be found. These are temporary symptoms, coming, as Toni says, 'in waves'. Often preceded by nausea and head/neck pain, she finds her thoughts a bit cloudy, words difficult to come by, speech slurred, and dizzy. An extreme form occurred a week ago Monday when she totally blacked out, except for hearing. Yes, frightening. I want to know what caused that and how we can keep it from happening again, if indeed we can.
Pray: for our very fine doctors and nurses and all who labor for Christ in the care of the broken and hurting; for Toni's full recovery from transverse mylitis; for wisdom as to when we go to Southwestern and for all those there who will treat her; for Anna, Sean, and Claire as they also share in their mom's pain; for our usefulness to Christ in all of these afflictions.
Thank you again dear friends!
A wee detail - one of the children's Sunday School classes sent hand drawn get well notes to Toni and we only just discovered these today; they were brilliant! My thanks to all the youngsters who penned and crayoned such delightful and colorful get well wishes.
Ok, on to the day. It was a very topsy turvy kind of affair.
First, Toni had a really bad night and thankfully her sister Kim was there to help. She had a vein collapse where the IV was inserted and this rather messed up the scheduled delivery of her meds, not to mention being really painful. A treatment started at 7 and meant to run 2 hours ended at 3 am.
This left her completely exhausted but of course she had to have a CT Scan today (with iodine), so no food or coffee (torture!) until afterward. The scan results simply confirmed the absence of any cancer in the rest of her body. Great news, and not surprising at this point.
She was however suffering considerable pain in her arm, lack of mobility in her hand, had difficulty walking, and could speak only with difficulty. She slept from 10 to 3, and then we went for a 'walk' to the 3rd floor courtyard and enjoyed the fresh air for awhile. She rested there too and I read to her the cards that arrived by mail yesterday.
Next comes the weird part: at first the docs decided to reverse course and NOT do a second round of the five day IV regimen of antibodies, and suggested she should go home as there really wasn't anything further they could do for her. Lets just say I was a little stunned and, OK, 'disquieted' and my 'countenance was changed'. After some further consideration of the fact that all of the symptoms from the chin up are NOT related to the spinal inflammations but to an as yet undiagnosed brain issue, this 'go home' strategy was thankfully put on hold. In fact, it looks like we MAY see her go to Southwestern in Dallas for more tests on that aspect of her afflictions. To that end, more tests will be conducted over the next two to three days (I hope no more spinal taps!), and she may go either as a transfer to Dallas or as an outpatient, having been discharged from Seton, perhaps on Monday. We shall see how it goes.
The spinal issues appear to be transverse mylitis, as mentioned previously. While this will leave some potentially painful residual effects, recurrence is rare, and Toni will recover to a certain degree over the next 3-4 months, as God wills. Basically, some people fully recover and some people partially recover, but typically where a person is at 3-4 months is usually where they stay. Yes, lets pray for the full recovery option. Toni is trusting God whatever the outcome and asking for him to be glorified in whatever occurs.
As for the brain issues, its possible that we may never know what has hit her; it is possible we may know and then discover no treatment is possible at this time. Nevertheless, we have to at least search to see if a cause and cure can be found. These are temporary symptoms, coming, as Toni says, 'in waves'. Often preceded by nausea and head/neck pain, she finds her thoughts a bit cloudy, words difficult to come by, speech slurred, and dizzy. An extreme form occurred a week ago Monday when she totally blacked out, except for hearing. Yes, frightening. I want to know what caused that and how we can keep it from happening again, if indeed we can.
Pray: for our very fine doctors and nurses and all who labor for Christ in the care of the broken and hurting; for Toni's full recovery from transverse mylitis; for wisdom as to when we go to Southwestern and for all those there who will treat her; for Anna, Sean, and Claire as they also share in their mom's pain; for our usefulness to Christ in all of these afflictions.
Thank you again dear friends!
Liturgy is Not Enough
Ok, since I'm keeping the blog open for a while more with hospital updates (tough day so far btw), I might as well write what I am thinking about with regard to matters theological and ecclesiastical. I want to ask the readers whether they are engaged in a systematic study of Scripture, whether as part of a class, study group, or even personally. If not, and unless your schedule simply doesn't permit it, I want you to change that reality immediately. The primary setting by which the ordinary means of grace are communicated to us is the Divine Service. It is essential. Nevertheless, while it is the primary setting it is not the exclusive setting for the reception of the sustaining and sanctifying grace that grows us in the knowledge of God. Personal prayer, family worship, Bible studies, fellowship groups of all sorts, and other activities can be wonderful vessels of mercy. True, such are not a substitute for the gathered worship of the Christian Church, nor are they the proper setting for the reception of the sacraments. Yet these opportunities are gifts to us from the Father that can, if we attend to them diligently, increase in us our grasp of Scripture and the grip of Scripture's truth on our lives.
There are many such groups meeting at or through Redeemer, and of course many opportunities beyond this congregation exist as well.
Are you making the effort to join with others to study the Bible and pray together for one another? What about serving together?
The Liturgy is full of riches, but more treasures await those who not only ponder deeply the meaning and message of the Divine Service but take up daily and weekly those other gifts of prayer and community that will enrich and adorn our faith.
More information on Bible Studies and prayer groups is available at the Church Office and ask Jack Smith about School of Discipleship classes.
And hey, why not start a group? That's what my good friend Chris Olari did, and its going great. I'd start one at Central Market: eat and drink, let the kiddos play, and then pray.
There are many such groups meeting at or through Redeemer, and of course many opportunities beyond this congregation exist as well.
Are you making the effort to join with others to study the Bible and pray together for one another? What about serving together?
The Liturgy is full of riches, but more treasures await those who not only ponder deeply the meaning and message of the Divine Service but take up daily and weekly those other gifts of prayer and community that will enrich and adorn our faith.
More information on Bible Studies and prayer groups is available at the Church Office and ask Jack Smith about School of Discipleship classes.
And hey, why not start a group? That's what my good friend Chris Olari did, and its going great. I'd start one at Central Market: eat and drink, let the kiddos play, and then pray.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Toni Times 9-27-10
After what can only be described as an exceedingly difficult and painful morning, I can happily report that Toni brightened significantly and enjoyed what was surely her best day in two weeks. It was a remarkable turn around. Perhaps the new treatment of IVIG is kicking in and we are seeing the first signs of recovery. I hope this is indeed the case. I am cautious in this regard simply because she experienced and upswing last Wednesday only to be immediately followed by a mini version of the terrible seizure of the previous Monday and did not recover from that for another two days. Lets all pray that this hopeful improvement is sustained and increases.
The significant test results that remained outstanding have come back and no certain diagnosis can be offered as yet. That said, the default setting for treatment remains a post-shingles trauma to the nervous system known as Transverse Militus. This attacks the membranes around the nerves and is an auto-immune disease, turning one's body on itself in a sustained and brutal attack. It is not 'cured' per se, but is treatable and, while leaving the person with a certain measure of pain and numbness throughout life, it can be curtailed and largely subdued. If this is in fact the final diagnosed cause, we are confident that God's grace will sustain us in the ongoing battle with its residual annoyances.
Further tests are however underway. Toni will have a CT scan tomorrow to give some more insurance that no cancer is present (we suspect none at this point, but the doctors would like a little more evidence to that effect), and more blood work is underway with samples sent off to the Mayo Clinic to check for rogue and unusual viruses that might otherwise be missed. There are a host of auto-immune bugs out there apparently, and these further tests would expose such a thing if indeed it had attacked Toni.
Finally, tomorrow is the fifth day of the IVIG treatment, but the docs have ordered a further five day regimen, believing that this treatment is beginning to show signs of subduing the inflammations in Toni's spinal cord. The second round will begin on Wednesday and run through next Sunday. If all goes well, one would hope that an MRI on Monday would reveal that the inflammations have been checked and the spinal cord returned to normal proportion and function. Dare I hope she might be able to go home next week?
It has to be said of course that even after she goes home she will need significant recovery time (about 3 days for every 1 day in bed we have been told). That's OK with me - as long as I get her back, I won't moan for a single second about recovery times.
Toni has been greatly cheered by the arrival of her brother and sister together with her mom and dad; their stay will be brief, but this deeply appreciated visit has strengthened her considerably.
We were both brought to tears this afternoon by the fabulous notes so many of you wrote in the little journals made available at church on Sunday. We will always treasure these, and give thanks for your tender and compassionate ministry to us, together with your bold and unceasing prayers on our behalf.
That's it for today!
Thank you again for your great love for the Church. Love one another!!!
The significant test results that remained outstanding have come back and no certain diagnosis can be offered as yet. That said, the default setting for treatment remains a post-shingles trauma to the nervous system known as Transverse Militus. This attacks the membranes around the nerves and is an auto-immune disease, turning one's body on itself in a sustained and brutal attack. It is not 'cured' per se, but is treatable and, while leaving the person with a certain measure of pain and numbness throughout life, it can be curtailed and largely subdued. If this is in fact the final diagnosed cause, we are confident that God's grace will sustain us in the ongoing battle with its residual annoyances.
Further tests are however underway. Toni will have a CT scan tomorrow to give some more insurance that no cancer is present (we suspect none at this point, but the doctors would like a little more evidence to that effect), and more blood work is underway with samples sent off to the Mayo Clinic to check for rogue and unusual viruses that might otherwise be missed. There are a host of auto-immune bugs out there apparently, and these further tests would expose such a thing if indeed it had attacked Toni.
Finally, tomorrow is the fifth day of the IVIG treatment, but the docs have ordered a further five day regimen, believing that this treatment is beginning to show signs of subduing the inflammations in Toni's spinal cord. The second round will begin on Wednesday and run through next Sunday. If all goes well, one would hope that an MRI on Monday would reveal that the inflammations have been checked and the spinal cord returned to normal proportion and function. Dare I hope she might be able to go home next week?
It has to be said of course that even after she goes home she will need significant recovery time (about 3 days for every 1 day in bed we have been told). That's OK with me - as long as I get her back, I won't moan for a single second about recovery times.
Toni has been greatly cheered by the arrival of her brother and sister together with her mom and dad; their stay will be brief, but this deeply appreciated visit has strengthened her considerably.
We were both brought to tears this afternoon by the fabulous notes so many of you wrote in the little journals made available at church on Sunday. We will always treasure these, and give thanks for your tender and compassionate ministry to us, together with your bold and unceasing prayers on our behalf.
That's it for today!
Thank you again for your great love for the Church. Love one another!!!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Toni Times 9-26-10
First, many thanks again for stopping by, leaving such encouraging and helpful comments, and especially for your many prayers.
We are on day three of the second phase treatment - Five days of IVIG - and hoping the introduction of these new antibodies will have a good effect. Toni was very tired and weak, and slept most of the day right up until about three. We managed one brief walk down the hall in the morning and a more lengthy walk at three, this one down to the courtyard on level three where Toni really enjoyed sitting in the fresh air.
She fell asleep down there as well, but only for a short time, and then back to the room. She was starting to 'warm up' a little at that point, and wanted to 'get her lips on', so she managed to get beautified in time for Jeanne Phillips to drop by some very nice chinese food, enough for us all (Claire and Anna had joined us by then). She was especially glad to see her sister, brother, Mom and Dad then walk in. They are in town to check on her and help out for a few days. Its terrific to have them here.
I managed to write some thank you notes to so many of you who have sent so many flowers and gifts, and given so much of your time to help in so many wonderful ways. Cathy Collier will be glad to know that I also found time to sign all the baptism certificates! We missed church very much today, but appreciate the prayers on our behalf. We also enjoyed listening to Bob and Joey Phillips today on their not to be missed 'Dad and Joey Show' on 106.4 - hysterical stuff and their prayers for Toni were deeply appreciated.
The Duperes had Anna at Baylor on Saturday hanging out with Catherine and friends. Apparently, she learned to swing dance to the tunes of Ella Fitzgerald while there. She does have dancin feet!
In summary, Toni seems most weak in the morning and early afternoon and then strengthens later in the afternoon and early evening. She is struggling with occasional low blood pressure and low oxygen levels, but as I observe things, the mobility and strength of her afflicted left side is improving, if only by painfully slow degrees. I left her in the able hands of her sister Kim and took Anna home for a good nights sleep in preparation for school tomorrow. I will be back to the hospital first thing tomorrow and hope that I can report in the evening that we have seen more progress, and - perhaps! - even pass along some more test results that point to a more definitive diagnosis.
We are on day three of the second phase treatment - Five days of IVIG - and hoping the introduction of these new antibodies will have a good effect. Toni was very tired and weak, and slept most of the day right up until about three. We managed one brief walk down the hall in the morning and a more lengthy walk at three, this one down to the courtyard on level three where Toni really enjoyed sitting in the fresh air.
She fell asleep down there as well, but only for a short time, and then back to the room. She was starting to 'warm up' a little at that point, and wanted to 'get her lips on', so she managed to get beautified in time for Jeanne Phillips to drop by some very nice chinese food, enough for us all (Claire and Anna had joined us by then). She was especially glad to see her sister, brother, Mom and Dad then walk in. They are in town to check on her and help out for a few days. Its terrific to have them here.
I managed to write some thank you notes to so many of you who have sent so many flowers and gifts, and given so much of your time to help in so many wonderful ways. Cathy Collier will be glad to know that I also found time to sign all the baptism certificates! We missed church very much today, but appreciate the prayers on our behalf. We also enjoyed listening to Bob and Joey Phillips today on their not to be missed 'Dad and Joey Show' on 106.4 - hysterical stuff and their prayers for Toni were deeply appreciated.
The Duperes had Anna at Baylor on Saturday hanging out with Catherine and friends. Apparently, she learned to swing dance to the tunes of Ella Fitzgerald while there. She does have dancin feet!
In summary, Toni seems most weak in the morning and early afternoon and then strengthens later in the afternoon and early evening. She is struggling with occasional low blood pressure and low oxygen levels, but as I observe things, the mobility and strength of her afflicted left side is improving, if only by painfully slow degrees. I left her in the able hands of her sister Kim and took Anna home for a good nights sleep in preparation for school tomorrow. I will be back to the hospital first thing tomorrow and hope that I can report in the evening that we have seen more progress, and - perhaps! - even pass along some more test results that point to a more definitive diagnosis.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Toni Times 9-25-10
Thanks to all for your kind and faithful prayers, and your thoughtful messages of support.
There were two significant developments yesterday.
The first was receiving the frustrating news that the long-awaited test results will not be in the hands of the doctors until Monday. They were not available yesterday - despite the fact that such was the expected day of full reporting - and since the labs aren't apparently operating on the weekend, we can't expect any further results today or tomorrow. Thus the cause of Toni's suffering remains hidden, at least for another couple of days, if not more.
Secondly, because the 'growths' in the spinal cord have not decreased in size (nor increased I hasten add), the massive dose of steroids employed to subdue them cannot now be regarded as a successful treatment. This means the neurologists are going to a 'stage two' level of medication, giving Toni IV delivered antibodies each day for five consecutive days. This new treatment began last night. The hope is that these will strengthen her immune system and reduce the areas of inflammation.
Toni was able to go for a brief walk down the hall last night, ate dinner (date night! I went to Central Market and got her some real food), and was pretty bright and chipper in a brief conversation with the RN who changed her IV port. If you know Toni, you know she 'hates' injections, and so this last week has especially been a source of woe for her. She not only has the IV work of course, but an injection of blood thinner into the stomach is administered each day to guard against blood clots forming while she is confined to bed, and because the steroids raise blood sugar levels she also now receives an insulin injection each day to drive that count back to normal, with the attendant massacre of her finger tips from a test stick being administered every two hours to check the sugar levels. Perhaps with the steroid treatment now behind her the sugar related sticks will cease. I really don't know.
I will update more tonight, and believe me when I say that while Toni is 'absent in body' from church tomorrow, she is 'present in spirit' and in worship with you at the Lamb's High Feast.
Prayer today: for her to continue to strengthen and be able to remain fully conscious for longer periods of time, that today will see marked improvement; for the new treatments to prove effective in reducing the spinal inflammations; for her doctors and nurses, who serve her with great care; for us to give glory to God in all things; for Anna to have a joyous weekend and be comforted while she misses Mom; for Toni's family to have a safe journey as they make the trip here on Sunday to help out.
For over a year now, Toni has continually meditated on the great truth that we are not our own, that we are not in control, and that God ushers us into circumstances to teach us this difficult truth we must learn. She has spent a lot of time on Mary's surrender to the message Gabriel brought the Blessed Virgin, her vulnerability leading to victory. Above all, Toni has prayed through the truth that we are God's beloved children. These three great lessons have intersected for Toni at Seton this past week. She is not in control as she suffers; she is vulnerable and weak; she also knows she is supremely loved as she works at nothing other than enduring and recovering. These are lessons we all must learn, embracing the reality that we belong to Christ and his plans not ours reign supreme; that in surrender to the word of God we become a source of victory for the cause of Christ, especially in our weakness; that we are the children of the One whose Name is Love and cannot be forsaken, ever or anywhere. The 'sticks' she has received just point us both back to the terrible nails that pierced the Savior for us and in his wounds we know we will find healing for ours.
There were two significant developments yesterday.
The first was receiving the frustrating news that the long-awaited test results will not be in the hands of the doctors until Monday. They were not available yesterday - despite the fact that such was the expected day of full reporting - and since the labs aren't apparently operating on the weekend, we can't expect any further results today or tomorrow. Thus the cause of Toni's suffering remains hidden, at least for another couple of days, if not more.
Secondly, because the 'growths' in the spinal cord have not decreased in size (nor increased I hasten add), the massive dose of steroids employed to subdue them cannot now be regarded as a successful treatment. This means the neurologists are going to a 'stage two' level of medication, giving Toni IV delivered antibodies each day for five consecutive days. This new treatment began last night. The hope is that these will strengthen her immune system and reduce the areas of inflammation.
Toni was able to go for a brief walk down the hall last night, ate dinner (date night! I went to Central Market and got her some real food), and was pretty bright and chipper in a brief conversation with the RN who changed her IV port. If you know Toni, you know she 'hates' injections, and so this last week has especially been a source of woe for her. She not only has the IV work of course, but an injection of blood thinner into the stomach is administered each day to guard against blood clots forming while she is confined to bed, and because the steroids raise blood sugar levels she also now receives an insulin injection each day to drive that count back to normal, with the attendant massacre of her finger tips from a test stick being administered every two hours to check the sugar levels. Perhaps with the steroid treatment now behind her the sugar related sticks will cease. I really don't know.
I will update more tonight, and believe me when I say that while Toni is 'absent in body' from church tomorrow, she is 'present in spirit' and in worship with you at the Lamb's High Feast.
Prayer today: for her to continue to strengthen and be able to remain fully conscious for longer periods of time, that today will see marked improvement; for the new treatments to prove effective in reducing the spinal inflammations; for her doctors and nurses, who serve her with great care; for us to give glory to God in all things; for Anna to have a joyous weekend and be comforted while she misses Mom; for Toni's family to have a safe journey as they make the trip here on Sunday to help out.
For over a year now, Toni has continually meditated on the great truth that we are not our own, that we are not in control, and that God ushers us into circumstances to teach us this difficult truth we must learn. She has spent a lot of time on Mary's surrender to the message Gabriel brought the Blessed Virgin, her vulnerability leading to victory. Above all, Toni has prayed through the truth that we are God's beloved children. These three great lessons have intersected for Toni at Seton this past week. She is not in control as she suffers; she is vulnerable and weak; she also knows she is supremely loved as she works at nothing other than enduring and recovering. These are lessons we all must learn, embracing the reality that we belong to Christ and his plans not ours reign supreme; that in surrender to the word of God we become a source of victory for the cause of Christ, especially in our weakness; that we are the children of the One whose Name is Love and cannot be forsaken, ever or anywhere. The 'sticks' she has received just point us both back to the terrible nails that pierced the Savior for us and in his wounds we know we will find healing for ours.
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Toni Times - 9/24/10
I'm not returning to theological blogging right now, but I am going to use this space to keep Redeemer members and friends aware of Toni's progress. As many of you know, Toni began suffering from symptoms like numbness in her hands and arms some weeks ago. As these symptoms progressed and intensified, she was sent for an MRI. This showed two primary areas of inflammation on her spinal cord. This past Monday she suffered a debilitating attack at home while preparing for a visit to the neurologist, and was transported by ambulance to Seton Med Center here, where she remains hospitalized and undergoing numerous tests, while receiving treatment as well.
What we know so far: while doctors are not certain what Toni is suffering from, preliminary tests indicate that MS, a viral infection, and cancerous tumors do not appear to be the cause of her suffering.
Today - Toni is a little stronger than yesterday, and experiencing less pain in her head and neck - welcome relief indeed. However, new MRI scans show no reduction in the size of the spinal inflammations. Her right leg is experiencing some signs of difficulty now as well, though the great concentration of the problem is her entire left side. She remains very fatigued and sleeps the vast majority of the time. She continues to exhibit problems with speech, as well as almost complete loss of strength to left hand and upper arm. We anticipate receiving a few more test results today from the two spinal taps (lumbar punctures) she has undergone and we will pass these along as we can.
Prayer - for a clear diagnosis and proper course of treatment leading to recovery; that our suffering will be an offering in Christ's service, magnifying him and serving the Gospel; for the comfort of our friends and family who are helping us while also feeling the strain of this challenging season; for Anna especially, as she misses her mom so much.
What we know so far: while doctors are not certain what Toni is suffering from, preliminary tests indicate that MS, a viral infection, and cancerous tumors do not appear to be the cause of her suffering.
Today - Toni is a little stronger than yesterday, and experiencing less pain in her head and neck - welcome relief indeed. However, new MRI scans show no reduction in the size of the spinal inflammations. Her right leg is experiencing some signs of difficulty now as well, though the great concentration of the problem is her entire left side. She remains very fatigued and sleeps the vast majority of the time. She continues to exhibit problems with speech, as well as almost complete loss of strength to left hand and upper arm. We anticipate receiving a few more test results today from the two spinal taps (lumbar punctures) she has undergone and we will pass these along as we can.
Prayer - for a clear diagnosis and proper course of treatment leading to recovery; that our suffering will be an offering in Christ's service, magnifying him and serving the Gospel; for the comfort of our friends and family who are helping us while also feeling the strain of this challenging season; for Anna especially, as she misses her mom so much.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Farewell to the Blogosphere
Over the past few weeks I've become increasingly convinced that the time has come to say farewell to the blogosphere. The reason is simple enough. Some years ago Francis Schaeffer wrote a fine little work entitled 'The Mark of the Christian', opening up in a beautiful way Jesus' challenging words about how our love for one another is the evidence that we are his disciples.
Those words have come back to me again and again as I've read some of the blogs I check on every day or each week, noting the often very fine contributions, and then the more often than not horrid comments left by their readers. If there is a place of Christian community marked most especially by a distinct lack of love it is the blogosphere, and I just can't stand being part of it anymore. There are more important things to do than worry about whether or not something published on the web is more mugging than blogging - and that's just the Reformed blogs!
The comments and articles in that scene have degenerated into some of the worst cases of rabid, vitriolic, accusatory nonsense, with people behaving online in ways I can scarcely imagine them behaving in a bus line or in a normal conversation.
Sure, I could simply blog and disable comments, but that doesn't really extract me from the whole scene. Maybe someday I will discover a way to share some more jokes, sports news, sermon outlines, book recommendations, and prayers with my friends. Until then I just don't have any desire to take part in the gutless and pathetic world of drive-by bloggeristas who comment under the name of anonymous while making the most outrageous of remarks to the hurt of many for whom they show not the slightest consideration. Ah, then some of the writers themselves: self-appointed theological police who troll the net on seek and destroy missions. Just awful and awfully sad too. What? They have no widows or orphans for whom to care?
The intoleristas have been few and far between here, thank God. Mostly they show up when you quote someone they think is a heretic, like CS Lewis. They imagine that they must agree with everything someone thinks in order to learn anything at all from that person. Which means they won't learn very much.
Thanks to all who came by from all those different places and walks of life. Keep the Faith, and stay in touch.
Pax vobiscum.
Those words have come back to me again and again as I've read some of the blogs I check on every day or each week, noting the often very fine contributions, and then the more often than not horrid comments left by their readers. If there is a place of Christian community marked most especially by a distinct lack of love it is the blogosphere, and I just can't stand being part of it anymore. There are more important things to do than worry about whether or not something published on the web is more mugging than blogging - and that's just the Reformed blogs!
The comments and articles in that scene have degenerated into some of the worst cases of rabid, vitriolic, accusatory nonsense, with people behaving online in ways I can scarcely imagine them behaving in a bus line or in a normal conversation.
Sure, I could simply blog and disable comments, but that doesn't really extract me from the whole scene. Maybe someday I will discover a way to share some more jokes, sports news, sermon outlines, book recommendations, and prayers with my friends. Until then I just don't have any desire to take part in the gutless and pathetic world of drive-by bloggeristas who comment under the name of anonymous while making the most outrageous of remarks to the hurt of many for whom they show not the slightest consideration. Ah, then some of the writers themselves: self-appointed theological police who troll the net on seek and destroy missions. Just awful and awfully sad too. What? They have no widows or orphans for whom to care?
The intoleristas have been few and far between here, thank God. Mostly they show up when you quote someone they think is a heretic, like CS Lewis. They imagine that they must agree with everything someone thinks in order to learn anything at all from that person. Which means they won't learn very much.
Thanks to all who came by from all those different places and walks of life. Keep the Faith, and stay in touch.
Pax vobiscum.
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