Art Joke: The Paris Thief with No Monet

Sure its bad, but when you tell it to someone else today, and they groan, you will at least sound like an an intelligent artsy person. However, you must tell the joke with a suitably impeccable faux French accent.


A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied,

"Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet

To buy Degas

To make the Van Gogh."

Quotable: The Narcissistic Joy of Being Published

Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.

Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.

The Jerk

Quotable - Andy Crouch: Excellence over Elitism

Pursuing being elite is a terrible idea. I partly say this because I worked at Harvard for 10 years, and most people who pursue being elite end up being shaped solely by that: They become nothing but elite. I’d much rather have everyone, whatever their prospects for being elite or not, pursue excellence. Excellence is often accompanied by humility, whereas being elite often is not. People who have obtained mastery of certain fields, I’ve found, are surprisingly humble, because they’ve become aware of how difficult their work is.


From Interview in World Magazine

Census Map

From the New York Times, here's an excellent interactive demographic map of the shifts in US population over the past decade:

http://projects.nytimes.com/census/2010/map?hp

Sermon Notes for Third Sunday in Lent 2011

The Power of the Gospel -
This is the Change You Can Believe In
1 Corinthians 6
Third Sunday in Lent
March 27, 2011

We looked last Sunday at Paul’s call to the Corinthians to live for Christ on the basis of who they are in Christ, to become in practice what they already are as far as God is concerned. That most especially had to do with their neglect of discipline in the Church on the important matter of sexual immorality. “Stop making pronouncements about the world, and start dealing with the problems that you have right in your own backyard” he exhorts them, a saying today’s Church no doubts needs to hear in fresh vibrant tones. “You have to be willing to judge sin in the Church”, he writes, and so starts this new chapter with encouragement about constituting Church Courts to handle these matters. “If you’re going to judge angels, you can surely form courts of wise people to handle the problems in the Church”, he says.

Having offered this wise counsel, Paul returns to his pastorally crucial point: we can’t go on living as we always have because that just isn’t who we are anymore. Last week we heard him remind the Church of this truth by bringing them face to face with the truth of who they are, a new unleavened loaf for the Feast. Now he brings up the same point with the same emphasis by reminding them of who they were. Both ‘are’ and ‘were’ magnify the life-changing power of the Gospel.

I. As You Were: “Such Were Some of You” - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11a
* Hey, that’s why its called ‘Conversion!’



II. Attention!: “But You Were Washed” - 1 Corinthians 6:11, 19
“Wholly Holy”
Justification and Sanctification: Distinguished not Divorced
It is by faith alone that we are justified but the faith by which we are justified is never alone
- “...all other saving graces...”
The Name and the Spirit
The Effectual Working of the Spirit
- "‘Washed’ precedes both, and so must refer to the Christian's outward new birth of water, the sign of the inward setting apart to the Lord by the inspiration of the Spirit as the seed of new life ( John 3:5 , Ephesians 5:26 , Titus 3:5 , Hebrews 10:22 ). Paul, in charity, and in faith in the ideal of the Church, presumes that baptism realizes its original design, and that those outwardly baptized inwardly enter into vital communion with Christ ( Galatians 3:27 ). He presents the grand ideal which those alone realized in whom the inward and the outward baptism coalesced. At the same time he recognizes the fact that this in many cases does not hold good ( 1 Corinthians 6:8-10 ), leaving it to God to decide who are the really "washed," while he only decides on broad general principles. - Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown



III. “Forward March!”: Glorify God in Your Body - 1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Lawful Powers
* Slogan Faith
Whose Body is it Anyway?
Heidelberg Catechism, Lord’s Day 1
Time for Spring Cleaning!

Sermon Notes for Second Sunday in Lent 2011

Christ our Passover
1 Corinthians 5:6-8
Second Sunday in Lent
March 20, 2011

Right in the middle of Paul’s stinging admonition to the negligent Corinthians is a reference we cannot pass over. Paul tells the Corinthians that the proper actions and attitudes to sin that they must express are rooted in Christ’s sacrificial death as our Passover, our Paschal Lamb. It is in reference to Passover, to the Feast of Unleavened Bread, that Paul is referring. On the Day of Preparation, when the Lambs were being sacrificed, all the leaven had to be cleaned out of the house – seven days of unleavened bread would now ensue. No leaven. Why? No time for the bread to rise: eat in a hurry, sandals on, ready to go. This is the exact opposite of Corinthian arrogance and apathetic delay.

• All that Passover Expresses
- Protection from Judgment
- Liberation from Pharaoh
- The Renewal of the Covenant
• All that Sacrifice Must Mean
- Has been: it is an accomplished fact
- As You Are: we are who we are on the sole foundation of what Christ has done; believing, we become what he says we already are in fact by grace.

I. Christ’s Blood is our New Security
A. Worshipers Under the Blood
• It is the Lamb that is inspected
• It is the Lamb’s blood that is all powerful
B. Nic at Nite: John 3 and ‘Saved’
• Saved from the Wrath of God!


II. Christ’s Blood is our New Liberation
A. The Titulus
1. The King of the Jews
2. The Decree Against Us – Colossians 2
B. Satan, Death, Dark Forces
• “Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world…” – 1 John

III. Christ’s Blood is our New Covenant Life
A. Called to the Feast
B. This is My Blood of the Covenant
• Every Year Israel enters afresh into the collective memory of their great deliverance and discovers afresh their great identity.
• Every Lord’s Day, you the New Covenant People of God do the same, entering afresh into the once and for all Paschal Sacrifice of the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world; we celebrate the Feast, eating the bread and drinking the wine – partaking of the sacrifice offered on our behalf. This is why Jesus said that we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we are to have life. “The life is in the blood”, just as God spoke to Moses. It is Christ’s Life we receive when we eat and drink!
C. Leave the Leaven at the Door: Malice and Evil
D. Come to the Feast with Sincerity and Truth.
• No masks
• No excuses
• Trust in Christ Alone

Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig

Yep, that's what I said.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Prayer for Japan

Just to add some perspective to this already overwhelming disaster, the population of Tokyo - one affected city- is about 10 million more people than that of the entire state of Texas.

Pray for the people of Japan, for the rescue workers, for the scientists working to prevent a massive nuclear disaster on top of the already terrible catastrophe caused by the earthquake and subsequent tsunami, and let us remember always ours brothers and sisters in Christ, praying for the Church and the spread of the Gospel.

How to Help in Japan

This CNN site has a very good list of agencies through which one can offer aid and assistance:

www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/03/14/iyw.howtohelp.japan/index.html

The PCA's Mission to the World Minute Man Appeal for aid to Japan can be found here:

http://www2.mtw.org/home/site/templates/mtw_splash.asp?_resolutionfile=templatespath%7Cmtw_splash.asp&area_2=public/General/Update

Dr Lloyd-Jones Documentary on George Whitefield

Thanks to Jack Smith for sending to me this You Tube link to a quite remarkable documentary on George Whitefield narrated by the great Welsh Preacher of the Westminster Tabernacle, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones.

Tsunami Footage from BBC; Redeemer Called to Respond

This footage from the BBC provides one of the closest views of the Tsunami's impact as it engulfs a town. Like me, I'm sure you've seen several images like this. We need to pray for the people of Japan, for the Church and for missionaries laboring there, and be prepared to offer assistance as we can and as soon as we can. The Redeemer Diaconate is checking on such matters now.

Here's the clip: www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12722026

Sermon Notes for First Sunday in Lent

Church Discipline 101
1 Corinthians 5:1-13

Jesus has called us to be his disciples―those who are “mathetes”―apprentices—under the instruction of the Master to become as the master. This word is at the heart of the difficult subject we read about today: discipline in the Church. At the root of discipline is the idea of discipleship: to be a disciple is to be a person who is “disciplined.” This is true of our identity as God’s dearly beloved children. The writer of Hebrews tells us that God disciplines all of his children as a sign of his love, and he does this so that we “share in his holiness” (Hebrews 12:4-10). My guess is that if I were to ask how many of you wanted to be faithful disciples of Jesus and holy children of God the Father, the vast majority of you would wish to be so regarded. That kind of life is impossible apart from the discipline that God brings to our lives.

Flowing out from the same love and desire for holiness, Paul writes to the Corinthians about their need to exercise loving spiritual discipline in the Church. In fact, he is writing as a father to his beloved children. His letter has a “Don’t make me come over there!” tone to it that reminds us of the reality of “tough love.”

Three Characteristics of the True Church
-Word of God faithfully preached
-Sacraments of God faithfully administered
-Church Discipline faithfully applied
Two Extremes:
-Liberal Laxity
-Legalistic Perfectionism
One Membership Vow
-Uphold the Purity and Peace of the Church
* WCF XXX.3

I. Church Discipline has the Honor of Christ as its Chief Concern –
1 Corinthians 5:1-2
“For vindicating the honor of Christ and the holy profession of the Gospel…”
David’s condemnation was because he had given God’s enemies an excuse to blaspheme.
Public scandals left unchecked diminish the visible luster of the Gospel’s Light and the fidelity of Christ’s testimony through his people.

II. Church Discipline has Redemption of the Offender as its Chief Aim –
1 Corinthians 5:5
“Reclaiming and gaining of offending brethren and deterring others from like offenses…”
Born of love for all, the Church speaks and acts for the spiritual good of the offender
The Offender probably doesn’t see it that way – at least at first.
Handed over to Satan? The Prodigal and the Pig Pen

III. Church Discipline has the Welfare of the Whole Community as its Chief Necessity – 1 Corinthians 5:6-13
“For purging out that leaven which might infect the whole lump…for preventing the wrath of God which might justly fall upon the Church, if they should suffer His covenant, and the seals thereof, to be profaned by notorious and obstinate offenders.”
Tolerable Leprosy?
Just how many bugs does it take a ruin a good salad?
Seriously, how many heresies pave the way to the acceptance of the craziness we see today in evangelicalism and so-called mainline Protestantism? How many child abusing priests were left undisciplined resulting in the nightmare the Roman Catholic Church is currently suffering?
The Unseen Work of Sin
Becoming in practice what we are called by grace
In this case, grace means judgment.
Starts with each individual, approaching this table: “Judge yourself that you be not judged” – 1 Corinthians 11!
Clean the leaven out of my heart (Psalm 139).
Clean us from the sin of improper tolerance and licentious laxity.
Clean out the leaven of Governmental Laziness and Arrogance on the part of Leaders.

For the Honor of Christ and the Freedom of the Gospel, for the Peace and Purity of the Church, and for the Reclaiming of the Offenders, Church Discipline is no optional extra but a moral and spiritual necessity. If it is ignored, we condemn the offenders to loveless despair, the Church to the wrath of God, and the honor of Christ to the manure pile. “If the salt has lost its savor…”

Let us now come to the Table of the Lord embraced by the love of the Lord, the One who loved us so much he died to make us the children of the Father. Let us come grateful for our Father’s good and wise discipline in our lives that is yet another mark of his love for us, summoning us from the pig pen and clothing us with garments of grace, pure and clean. Let us be thankful for Church Courts that demand of our ministers doctrinal fidelity and personal purity. Let us come to the Lord’s Table and proclaim with undying thanksgiving the saving Cross of Jesus Christ.

On Ash Wednesday as Lent Begins

"Let us fix our attention on the blood of Christ and recognize how precious it is to God his Father, since it was shed for our salvation and brought the grace of repentance to all the world."

- Clement of Rome, First Century

Colossians Notes for Ladies Bible Study

Colossians Study, Session Nine
The Supremacy and Sufficiency of Christ in the Means of Grace
Colossians 4:2-18; 2:9-15

In an age that celebrates the extraordinary we need to be reminded that God works in weakness and by the ordinary. Forgetting this can lead us to the margins of false spirituality, what R Scott Clark has called ‘The Quest for Illegitimate Religious Experience’. Reformed Theology embraces and celebrates the ordinary as extraordinary, weakness as strength; while never denigrating authentic ‘spiritual experiences’, we point away from experience (and this contra some Puritans as well) and towards faith in Christ ‘as he offered to us in the Gospel.’

Typically we speak of three primary ‘means of grace’: word, prayer, and sacrament. We anticipate the working of the Holy Spirit by and via all three means, on every occasion in which these are encountered, personally to be sure, but particularly in the worshiping community, the context of the ordinary means of grace.

I. Word and Prayer: Colossians 4:2-18

A. The Covenant Context (v.7ff)
1. The Ordinary Servant: Tychicus – Acts 20:4; Ephesians 6:21; 2 Timothy 4:12; Titus 3:12
• Faithfulness as the hallmark of the God’s servants.
2. Onesimus: The Extraordinary Conversion to Usefulness
3. Grace-Filled Fellowship
a. Jews – v.10-11
b. Gentiles – v.12-14
c. Broken and Recovered – v.10
B. The Work of Prayer – Colossians 4:2, 12
1. Devotion: the athlete
2. Alertness: the warrior
3. Thanksgiving (eucharistos)
C. The Work of the Word – Colossians 4:3-6
1. Open Doors
2. Clarity
3. Example
4. Winsome Wisdom
• Trust the word to do its work – 1 Thessalonians 2:13

II. Sacraments – Colossians 2:11
A. Circumcision as Sign of the Covenant: Genesis 17
B. The Circumcision of Christ: from eighth day to Calvary: Luke 2:21; 23:33-56, noting especially v.38 (titulus) and v.53 (cut into the rock).
• Luke 24:1-2 – the eighth day; rolled away (see also Joshua 5:1-9)
C. The Sacramental Relationship: Sign and Signified
D. The Work of the Holy Spirit
• Not ex opere operato, but by the Holy Spirit
• Always instrumental with regard to visible demarcation and obligation
• Only effectual for the elect and, even here, in God’s time according to God’s will.
E. The Crucial Sacramental Issue: union with Christ; being ‘in him’.
1. Union is Established by the Holy Spirit and testified to by baptism
2. Union is strengthened and nourished in communion

Sonogram Bill: Victory for the Life of the Voiceless and Weakest

Thank God for this legislation:

www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/03/08/texas.sonogram/index.html?hpt=T2

Oops! Glad They Make Spares

Dropped Oscar? No problem.

www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/oscars/8365939/Kings-Speech-Oscar-damaged-after-producers-daughter-drops-trophy-on-concrete-floor-at-awards-party.html

Quotable - Lewis Carroll

'I see nobody on the road,' said Alice.
'I only wish I had such eyes,' the King remarked in a fretful tone. 'To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it's as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!'

Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

Sermon Notes for Transfiguration Sunday

The Light of the World
Matthew 17:1-9
The Feast of Transfiguration
March 6. 2011

This is the final Sunday in Epiphany, the season marking the way in which God reveals his glory to the world, most especially in the sending of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. It is in him supremely and fully that the fullness of God has been revealed. He is the Word made flesh. How easy it is for us to lose our way and forget that Christ is ‘the Lamb at the center of the throne’, and that we are to ‘fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith’. We are easily distracted; our eyes wander; our souls drift. God mercifully lays hold of his people and takes us to fresh places of seeing the majesty and centrality of Jesus and does so again today.

I. Light on the Mountain
Matthew’s Mountains and God’s Revelation
Shining, Light, and Brightness
Moses and the Mount – Exodus 24
Peter and the Mount – 2 Peter 1

II. Light from the Son
The Eternal Lord and Savior
Clothed in Humility and Majesty

III. Light for the World
The Voice of Moses and Elijah
Hearing the Old Testament in the Light of Jesus
“Moses and Elijah, the Law and the prophets, what avail they unless they converse with Jesus and bear witness of him?”: Augustine
This is why “Judges does not rank the same as John, nor Esther with Ephesians…Scripture is not flat like Kansas, but peaked like Colorado” (Bruner); all is God’s word and God breathed; but the centrality belongs to the Gospel, to Jesus, and then to the Apostles as they carry forward the witness of Moses and Elijah; they disappear, but the Apostles remain.

A. The Voice of Peter
We want to stay!
Peter’s Confession and Peter’s Confusion
The world does not come up the mountain to Jesus; the disciples must go down the mountain with Jesus for the world
“Come down Peter…come down and preach the word. God reserves this life of the Mount for thee after death; The Life came down that he might be slain; the Bread came down that he might hunger; the Fountain came down that he might thirst; and dost thou refuse?” – Augustine.

B. The Voce of the Father
“Listen to him!”: “Shema!”
The Father’s ‘Sermon on the Mount of Transfiguration’
The Father’s Confession and the Father’s Command

C. The Voice of the Son
“Rise and fear no more”: Here is the first word we must hear from Jesus and it is the word of Grace and Salvation. Not, “Get up and work” but ‘Rise and fear no more.”


In this incredible moment eternity past and eternity future meet in the fulfilled promise of the coming Messiah. Here is received ahead of time the eye salve the disciples must have to see through the Cross to Easter, what we need as well as we begin the journey with Jesus and his apostles. Here in the disciples response to the Light and the Voice of the Savior is the story of our own salvation. Slain by the holiness of God we are raised again by the Son to live free from fear and take his Light down the mountain to the waiting darkness.

That Wicked Mr Huckabee

This is one of the best 'rants' I've read in awhile. Mike Huckabee made some politically incorrect and truthful remarks about Islam and was, of course, mashed by the talking heads who are smarter than God.

This guy sets the record straight: www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2011/02/25/bad-mr-huckabee-bad

And you don't have to agree with the politics of the former Arkansas Governor and Presidential candidate to appreciate the defense of his views the writer offers. Nice job.

That's Weird

Just discovered that "Presbyterians" is an anagram of Britney Spears.

Uh oh.

Lady Gaga anyone?

HT Turretin Fan.

Tim Keller on 'Morning Joe'

Here's the clip: www.dennyburk.com/tim-keller-on-“morning-joe”

Tim is an excellent preacher and pastor in NY City, leading the burgeoning work of Redeemer Presbyterian Church there. Glad to see him in this venue too. HT to D Burk